On a mission to live

on

Roller coaster. Right? I’ve said it countless times before. This disease, the treatment, the side effucks (hi insomnia), the waiting…on markers, on a cure, on death…it’s a rollercoaster unlike no other. And right now I’m heading up, knowing at some point I could be on my way down. But right now for me, I’m enjoying the ride.

I’ve always been full of piss and vinegar. I can be abrasive, sassy and sometimes hard headed. I owe a lot to cancer. I’m stronger in my faith, wiser in my years, and frankly don’t give a shit about the little things that used to bother me. Minus the need for top sheets and why my aunt put toilet paper on backwards. My traits have made me strong. Cancer has made me a warrior…a fighter.

My husband and son mean the world to me. Cancer has impacted them. You don’t mess with my guys. Cancer fucked with the wrong lady! I’m on a mission to live for them. To fight for them. To survive for them.

So how am I doing on that mission? Well as I told my nurse this week..”Look at me kicking cancer’s ass!” That was in reply to her letting me know I graduated…I’ve been seeing my doctor every month for tests and markers. 1/4 of my month was spent dreading those numbers. A quarter of my month was spent worrying and crying with Chris, scared on what would come back. Well this feisty little lady has moved to every three months! My numbers are stable and decreasing. I’m inching slowly to “normal”.

So there we have it. Prayers are working. God and the angels are working overtime to help me on my mission to live and survive for my family. And I couldn’t be more grateful.

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