I walked in the door to this. A dirty kid with food all over the kitchen floor, still in his underwear and no summer homework done. Outside my love was working on a garage expansion for more storage of his “stuff”.

Life goes on. It doesn’t stop of anyone or anything. And it sure as hell doesn’t stop for cancer. I come home to hug my husband and kiss my son. I make dinner. Have a drink (or 3) on the porch with Chris. I watch shitty shows and then watch shittier sci fi with Chris while snuggling E. Its normal. And it’s perfect.

There is guilt each time I scold at Evan or snap at Chris but then I remind myself that this is normal. Normal healthy people scold their kids and snap at their spouses. Normal people get mad at family. Normal people forget things.

I feel like I can’t be normal. I can’t forget because just what if? I can’t snap at my husband because JC what if? And I sure as hell can’t scold my son because what if? Do I live this way and force my family live this way or do I simply be normal?

I chose normal. I chose real. I choose cereal on the floor and a smelly kid. I choose a tired, hard working quiet husband. I choose life. Gritty, shitty, beautiful life. Cancer chose me. I didn’t chose it. I choose normal. As normal as we can be with a middle finger to cancer.