It’s been an interesting few months, but finally the sunshine has shone through. To sum a few things up, depression is a very dark mistress and she feeds off of even the smallest of things. There were many things for her to feed off of…health, work environment, toxic people, let’s throw Covid I miss faces in there. Anyway, I was letting her become a fat bitch eating away at my joy.

Last week I hit a wall. I cancelled chemo for the week. Healing my body. I quit my job. Healing my mind. And I took off last weekend to the country (blog coming on that). Healing my soul.

Markers dropped by half. Skin is healing. Edema is starting to get under control. And my energy is up. I haven’t cried in almost two weeks. Chris notices. Evan notices. They are getting their wife and mama back.

There’s no one to blame for the spiral I let myself go down. No one thing. Only I can climb out of it rung by rung. Cancer is a horrible nasty disease. It comes with so many complex emotions on mortality. And with that comes sadness and sometimes depression. It’s just one more scar to heal and reflect on.

So here comes the sun. And I say it’s alright…..and about damn time!