It’s been a while. Some days I find inspiration to write in countless ways. Other times, it takes me weeks to find a clear thought. Today it was in a fart. Yes…a fart. Not my own mind you. My sister’s.

Every once in awhile I bring a support person to chemo with me. Each one brings their own flavor to the session. Evan….chaos. Gretchen….peace. Sandi…laughter….and farts. Teri is visiting soon for chemo. She will get to meet my whole team. I’m truly excited to see what she brings. So any way…farts.

Sandi and I were laughing the entire way in to chemo about this and that. The laughter started with a pretty decent flatulent courtesy of me. Sandi struggled for composure as I simply continued my story. It’s 2021 bitches and that means honesty of self and life. So as she struggled through the tears she said “Do you do that around Chris???” “Why yes. I do now….its 2021.”

Fast forward 30 minutes and we are up in the oncology lobby. No one is waiting but us. We are laughing about some politically incorrect comments that leaked out of my mouth, Sandi then ripped a loud one and literally levitated. Not missing a beat I said “Smells like death in here.” And my equally witty sibling said “Oh that’s just you!” This lead to “Smells like something died.” And my reply of “Hey not yet!”

Laughter. Raw honesty. Being ourselves. Vulnerability. The ability to own a situation. Finding comfort in apologies and forgiveness. Being human. That’s the scent of life and the scent of death. Finding the blessing of living knowing one day we will be watching from another plane of existence while our friends sit on a granite bench with cup holders and the words “Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister and overall bad ass carved over a secret wine compartment. Or weed….I haven’t decided.

Death and the idea of it doesn’t have to be scary or sad. It can be a fart. A brief moment where laughter, tears, honesty, love, life and humanity all intersect. Make it a good and loud fart. Make it count.