This weekend Hell froze over. You probably felt it somewhere in your soul. It was like the world shifted on it is axis and everything somehow felt different. Backwards. To quote a classic, “dogs and cats living together!” In all honesty, it was simply Chris and his friend BV letting out a collective sigh of relief with wide nervous eyes as they watched their wives, bitter rivals from the early days of BMX slags, hug each other like long lost sisters. Two days later, I’m sitting on the porch with a smile on my face wondering what the fuck that bitch is up to as she texts me if I have crackers.
I’ve written about Stacy on here before. See the post Nemesis. 20 odd years ago we hated each other. Our fights were stuff of legend. Over the years we have slowly melted into each other’s lives not really understanding why. They have been talking of visiting for years. And then Stacy got cancer.
God has an interesting sense of humor. And a reason for everything. Did I get cancer to help Stacy through her journey or did she get it to help me through? No matter what the reason this was a different weekend on so many levels. And I’m still trying to understand the lesson in it all.
Friday was a night for fires, apologies for the past and reminiscing. We met each other’s children (including neighbor Grant) and marveled at how amazing they are turning out. Evan and Addyson sparked a young romance that made Stacy and I dream of a great BMX dynasty built on the wombs of two determined bitches. BV looked a bit worried knowing the mad skills a Rye has with the ladies. Preston and Grant listened to tales of the glory years. By 1:30am we called it a night.
The rest of the weekend was a whirlwind of laughter, tears and friendship. Non stop food, water, toys and memories being made. Through it all there was this overwhelming relaxation and peace. For the first time in ages, I let someone other than Chris clean our kitchen without guilt of feeling helpless. I took a nap without feeling guilt. And through it all I kept thinking….she just gets it. Honestly the entire family just gets it.
No pity. No feeling “sorry” for me. I looked at this woman I used to dread seeing and saw my face. I saw the lines of pain, tiredness, and grief. I also saw a mother that is fighting for her children, a wife fighting for her husband. My loved ones are there for me as Stacy’s are for her. But to see a woman you have grown to love fighting the same battle as you and there is that twinkle in her eye that says “Yep, same here Bitch” is a feeling I simply can’t explain.
Today was hard. All day knowing they were all leaving, was hard on us all. Stacy planted flowers for me while I napped and when showing me she said “Now you will always think of me when you sit out here.” And 5 minutes later she realized her hair was starting to fall out. Joy and pain. That’s been the story of our lives. But we get through it. Because we are the mean girls.
So Hell froze over this weekend. And I have a feeling it will be like this for another 30yrs. So bundle up bitches. ♥️🙏🏻 Thank you to the Vowell’s and Grant for making this a weekend we will never forget.
To help Stacy in her fight, visit: https://www.bonfire.com/stacy8217s-fight/
Take Three 
This is such a beautiful post, Vrye! I’m wiping away tears as I read this. 😥❤
You and Stacy sound so much like me and Stephanie- a girl that I used to fight with like cats and dogs. Like you and Stacy, Stephanie and I hated each other with a passion when we were in high school and young adulthood. 20 years later, we became such close friends!
In 2014, she was diagnosed with cancer and I did what I could to be there for her. She passed away in 2017 and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. I miss her so much.
I thank God that we were able to put aside our differences and become like sisters. She became family to me. What a blessing it was and I’m so grateful.
Thank you so much for posting. 💖
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One thing I meant to add, you and Stacy both are in my thoughts and prayers! 🙏🙏🙏
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Thank you Cherie! ❤️🙏🏻 Much love
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Wow. And now I’m crying! What a wonderful turn of life that you were there for her when she needed you most. She was blessed to have you. ♥️
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Thank you so much, sweetie. And I was so bless to have her too. Your post made me think of the cookouts and get togethers she’d invite me to, and the times I’d invite her to my house as well. The times we’d meet each other for lunch in town. So many great memories! ❤❤❤
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You’re so welcome. ❤🙏🤗
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❤️you for writing this so honestly you bring so much open attention to a side of women’s relationships that we are very often closed mouthed about.
I have a girlfriend I have not seen in 40 years who she and I had an intense preteen rivalhood with but lives about 45 min away. We intend to see one another – remembering dancing to Saturday night fever in her living room and listening to hotel California for the first time in mine back in 1973 when we were only 8 years old. She is aware of my stage 4 MBC but to be honest I do not think she’s aware of what that really means. Wish me luck and good on you for taking the plunge…enjoying the other beautiful side of such amazingly complex relationships are what life is so much about. It’s richer for it and so are we.
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It’s very difficult living with something none you are close to truly understands. I would never wish this on someone I love. So while I’m devastated Stacy has this it’s also so freeing to have someone that understands all the complex emotions. I wish you luck and you are in my prayers. Throw on that record and dance your heart out. ❤️🙏🏻
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Dance dance dance!
If you read my post with the video link of me driving there’s about a 1/8 portion of my playlist there and on YouTube I shared my “final cuts” it’s nothing morbid just music I’d like shared at my service if there is even actually a service. I want to be buried without any embalmment next to a young redwood with a plaque that says my name. My dates. And a quote from Frank Osateskis book the five invitations “Don’t Wait” may as well make people think as they wander by the bench I’ll have put there for them to sit – or dance – under the tree that’s going to be partly nourished on me. I have read that both burials and cremation are two of the most polluting ways that one can go – cremating someone releases so much bad stuff into the air we don’t realize it. So I’d rather be a tree!
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I love it! A place to sit and reflect or dance. ❤️
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