Last week while in the hospital most of Wisconsin was under tornado warnings with some towns near us being tragically hit. But they will rebuild. There will be scars and signs of the past but over time they will become the landscape and take on a different beauty. (Queue metaphor music)

Last week was a storm of equal proportion for my body. I’ve learned so many medical terms, met so many inspiring hospital employees, witnessed my friends and family come together for us in epic ways and have thanked my stubborn body and God countless times. I’m truly blessed.

Failure…let’s start there. I hate failing at anything. I compete against the GPS time. I take pride in being the first in to work out of the market. I take new ways home from trips without maps to succeed at navigating sans tech. It’s just who I am. So when the dr said some fancy long word and I said “huh?” I heard the word failure and collapsed.

Cardiac and Respiratory Failure. They sound much scarier than they actually are. Now it’s serious. I’m not down playing that. But if caught early enough they can be managed and/or reversed. This was most likely due to the Enhertu chemo regime. It’s happens. After they pumped out 725ml from my right lung they went back in the next day and pumped out another 550ml from the left. Medically so fascinating. I was on so many different machines. Tubes up my nose. Specialist after specialist. And after the second day quarantined from visitors due to vitals and increased risk. Thank Goodness I got to see my sister, aunt and uncle and Beth and Tony before that hammer dropped. It was a long week for sure. Phone calls, texts and Snapchat helped! Thank goodness for tech!

By Wednesday night I was buoyed with rumors I might get sent home. With renewed energy (steroids I’m sure) I got packed, cleaned my room for the staff and remade my bed. I went to bed looking forward to home. Failure…dr walked through the door and took one look at me and said, “No not yet. Your vitals are still weak and now you feel woozy. You aren’t going.” The dams unleashed after she left. I failed again.

With patience, lots of juice and some food my body turned a corner and upon her return later that afternoon she felt the best thing for me mentally and physically was to go home. She sat on the side of my bed and looked at me. “Do you understand how close you came? When I read the file Sunday night I wasn’t sure I’d have a patient on Monday. No matter how much you tried to make everyone laugh.” Again I’m bawling. “You need to thank your little body. It’s truly remarkable.”

After taking the long way home with my hospital chauffeurs and friends, Beth and Tony, I was delivered home. Yesterday my Hr rate dropped a bit and my blood pressure is almost normal. I’m out of bed and trying to walk 3 times a day up and down the drive way. My sister, aunt and parents, stocked our fridge and pantry with low sodium high protein foods….minus the cheese that I can’t have….epic failure. Flowers, gifts, cards and love surrounds us from our family and friends. Thank you to all from this week. I know this storm is not one you signed up for yet here you are riding out the tornados with me despite the storms in your lives and without question.

When I was sitting in the hospital hallway during the tornado warning, I got a video from my husband of Evan in the storm. Disclaimer: This is a normal Wisco activity and no tornados were around the area at the time. As he holds a delicate and fragile umbrella against the straight line winds and rain our son yells what will now be my battle cry, “Not today!”