So there’s a part of me that makes you smile. Or make you feel better. Or makes you hug your loved ones tight. And for that I’m thankful. Tonight I had two ladies wrench things into perspective on an otherwise shitty week. I talked to two goddesses tonight. And for both they said stop. I pray this moves you to stop too….

K. Bun on her head, strong gives no fucks face. She makes me not wanna swear. I’m not sure why. But she said to me tonight… “ V, you might judge.” I didn’t because we’ve all been there. And she this bun girl I’ve never hugged has been there. Thinks her battles are somehow less. Apples to oranges boo. You said so yourself. So we stop. Judging our battles against others. And I just can’t weigh mine against yours cause guess what bun diva? We each are warriors. And then she cautiously said “Stop” She’s has said” I worry about you.” And we joke. But she said the word stop tonight. I don’t know if she realized it but I heard her.

My sister…. I say with a sigh. Why? Because she’s that and so much more. She is my best friend. If you haven’t watched Gilmore girls….first of all…wtf….second …..that’s us. She has said for years…. Fucking stop! And tonight as I ranted and cried the whole way home…she simply listened and then said stop.

But I can’t. I just can’t. I didn’t realize until tonight (next blog) . I can’t stop. I can’t stop working, living and loving. It’s not in me. Do I joke about shit? Yep. Do I piss a lot of you off with lack of “the tea”? Hell yeah! Push away? Yep. But I’m more than this shit. I get pissed off with our pre teen. I get annoyed with work. Hell half of you piss me off but I do love you!. I shut people out when I’m scared. ( B and T you are my troopers with that!) But I am who I am. And this is my journey. You all are my ride or dies….sneak peek…I go first..(there’s that dark humor)

Anyway…I just can’t. Stop. Whether it’s making jokes or pretending I’m ok. Or all joking aside stop living. Because at the end of each day I know I can’t stop fighting….not just for all of you but for my family…my fire.

So for the first time I’m stopping and saying I can’t. I can’t stop kicking the shit out if this and defying odds. Because let’s face it….I’m kinda awesome. ❤️ and ps….so are you.