There is a quote from Tomb Raider where Lara Croft asks her butler if he knows what the day is and he responds with the date. She replies that, that date is never a good day. That is March 10th for me.

March is a bundle of emotions all around. I am itching for green grass and hours in my greenhouse. It’s the countdown to spring. It is the happiest month in my life as it celebrates the birth of our beautiful son. It’s also the birthday month of my best friend, my nephew and the birth month of my sister-my bestest friend. Yet in all that joy there is a pain and sadness that happens every March 10th and it has for the last 11yrs.

11 days before E was born, one of my dear friends left this world for one where he could light up the Heavens with his jokes, inappropriate behavior and the weird little dances he would do. I have written about him each year since that day and while the tears don’t flow like rivers anymore, the hole in my heart is still there. And it is filled with so many happy memories.

Grief is such a complex emotion. It can be applied to so many things. Divorce, ending of a friendship, watching a parent get sick, illness in general for someone you love and of course death. Each experience with grief leaves us with something that can’t be repaired. But that is the same as love. Once you love, you are changed forever. Love can’t live without grief nor grief without love.

This year on March 10th, we woke up to another snow fall and the sun is shining. There is a fish fry happening in every corner of Wisconsin and a few old fashioneds will be consumed. In our home, homeschooling will be done and the rest of the day is a snow day filled with learning how to do pottery and maybe cookie making. The grief of today will be filled with the love of life.

I went to bed thinking tomorrow is the 10th. And the first thing I thought of not the loss of my friend but how he would have had his truck Big Red, somehow stuck in this weather. And I smiled.

In 11 days, we will be celebrating E’s 11th birthday. And I know his guardian angels Christopher will be celebrating from his bar stool in the sky celebrating with us. You are missed Lunchbox.